Last year I was a Life Group leader for Chi Alpha, and I can honestly say it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. At the end of last semester, however, I was seriously questioning whether I should be a Life Group leader for the 2012-2013 year. There were several reasons I felt like maybe it was time to step down. I would be entering my SENIOR year of college (When did this happen?), which meant that not only would I have the most difficult year of my entire college career, but I would also have to do an internship and join organizations that are relevant to my major. With that being said it is easy to see why I was starting to lean toward not being a leader for the following year.
I began to pray about the issue and I talked to several of my close friends about it. A really good friend of mine kept speaking life in me and constantly told me I could handle it. I was stubborn and would not listen until I got an answer from God about it. Well one day after finally surrendering the decision into God's hands, I suddenly got a peace about the situation. In my heart, I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to continue on with leadership. Even though that past year, I had witnessed many leaders struggle with finding the time to do anything, a desire to continue to reach this campus. I had one more year left on this campus, and I knew in that moment that God was saying "You have one more year to accompish what I have planned for you on this campus. You have one more year to make an impact here. Why wouldn't you want to?" How could anyone say no to that?
Thus began my journey of my second year of Life Group leading. I spent this past summer truly praying for the girls I would meet. I began to pray for my co-leader and the rest of the leaders who had stepped up this year. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that it would be one of the hardest semesters of my life, but the beautiful thing was I didn't care because I knew in my heart that it was utterly and completely in God's hands. One of the things I prayed for this summer was for God to give me a personal vision for this year for Life Group. One night while praying for this God spoke to me. He told me that I needed to start living every single day like it's going to be worth it. What this means is that everything I do every single day should be done for God and with intention, not for myself or out of feeling obligated. It means to live in such a way that every long, sleepless night, every tear, every pain, every struggle, every battle, and every mountain that I face this upcoming year would be worth it in the end. If I don't surrender my entire life to God, then none of the work I do will be worth anything in the end and I will have wasted my time. I can have 25 girls in my Life Group, but if I do not fully give it my all as a leader, it won't be worth anything in the end.
"Live everyday like it's going to be worth it" is not just a one time thing. I have chosen to make it my life motto. Striving everyday to live intentionally and knowing it will all be worth it, has made all things better. Reading my Bible the other day, this scripture stuck out to me : "As it is written 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." I also keep hearing that song on KLOVE that begins, " We are more than conquerors," and I know it's God's way of reminding me of the motto. I am more than a conqueror, it does not matter if I I make it through the year with a 4.0, it won't be worth it unless I do God's work.
With that being said, I decided to redesign my blog to reflect this motto. I renamed it, changed the background picture and color scheme. The background picture of the fork in the road reflects what I said in my first blog posts about my journey to UL. That long hard journey to get me to this place was worth it, and I refuse to let this last year be anything other than "Worth it."
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