Ask, Seek, Knock

        Before I begin this post, I would just like to let you know that it will contain a few scriptures and a quote that are relevant to the topic. This post is also an update from the last one. See my last post was talking about how recently God has put the desire in my heart to be bold. It's something I started praying for towards the beginning of this semester and I'm still praying about it now. This past week has been the starting point of the boldness that I have been asking for but before I get into details about that I need to explain what happened at Johnston Street Java.
        So one night last week, Claire, Morgan and I were studying at Johnston Street Java when this lady came to our table and started talking to Claire about just different things in life. To be honest, I really couldn't hear what the lady was saying but there's one particular thing I did get out of what she was telling Claire. I can't remember exactly what she said but it was something about our generation getting out there and doing something. When this lady said that, something clicked inside of me. Instead of just sitting back and waiting for things to happen, I need to do more, especially dealing with my faith and sharing the word of God with people. So I was determined to get out there and do something, but what exactly was God trying to tell me to do? This brings me to the next part of my story.
        Last week in Lifegroup we read the scripture Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." This scripture really hit me because fear is what has been keeping me from being bold. This scripture reminded me that God wants me to be strong and courageous and he will be there to guide me every step of the way. This scripture set the basis for everything that happened this past week.

        The best way to start this part of the story is with this amazing quote from the movie Evan Almighty:

        "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"
   
        I wanted to start out with this quote because it has been my favorite movie quote since the movie came out in 2007. I feel it is relevant to my desire for boldness because I have been praying for boldness. That is where I feel my weakness lies and I don't want walls of fear to hold me back from God. What this quote reminds me of is that if I pray for boldness God won't give me boldness, but he will give me opportunities to be bold. This past week, God has provided me with two major opportunities to be bold and he placed the desire and courage in my heart to take advantage of these opportunities.
        The first opportunity came to me at Resource Remix on Sunday. Someone had gotten up and talked about how one of the girl's Lifegroups had gone door to door and invited people to Lifegroup. My first thought about this was "Wow, they are so brave I could never do that." Immediately after I had this thought, God spoke to me. He was tugging at my heart and this is what he wanted me to do. Remembering the lady at Johnston Street Java and how her words made me realize that I needed to do more, I knew exactly what God wanted me to do but I was terrified. God wanted me to step up and do a dorm outreach. He wanted me to tell my Lifegroup leaders that I was going to print out papers with the day and time of Lifegroup and go door to door and invite people to come to Lifegroup. I was terrified because I did not know what the people in the dorms would think or what they would tell me. I kept praying about it to make sure it's really what God wanted and guess what, IT WAS! Tuesday came around pretty fast and determined to keep my commitment I printed out the papers with the Lifegroup info on it and I went buy some suckers from the store. I kept praying for the courage to do this and for a short moment, I almost backed out of it but I realized that I wasn't doing this for me, I was doing ti for God. At 6:55, I knocked on the first door and invited the girl to lifegroup. Everything after that got much easier and I went to every room and invited the people who answered the door. I was so proud that I had obeyed God and took advantage of this opportunity.
        My second major opportunity for boldness came at Open Mic Night. I kept telling people that I would have performed had I remembered to write a rap. When I got to Chi Alpha, I borrowed my friend Kali's iPhone and got to work. I took a few minutes and in no time at all, I had a short but nice rap. With encouragement from Lacy, Casey, Kali, Chantel and Daja, I was able to get the courage to sign up to perform. I said a silent prayer to myself for strength and courage to do this. When it was my turn, I walked up to the mic and rapped. The feeling of people clapping for me after just overwhelmed me. People who I never even met before in my life came up to me and told me I did a great job. I feel that God gave me this more personal opportunity in order to make me realize that the courage was inside of me all along. I haven't been this proud of myself in a long time.

    I have to quote this scripture because it ties everything together : Mathew 7:7-8 "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." The "Ask" part of this scripture I can relate to me asking God for the Boldness I knew I needed. The "Seek" part I relate to me seeking ways to be bold, and seeking advice and guidance from friends and my spiritual directors. The "Knock" part I relate to the opportunities that God placed for me in order for me to step out and be bold. "Knock" can also symbolize me knocking on the doors in the dorm in order to invite people to Lifegroup.
    Each of these things are a huge part of what God is doing in my life. Once again I cannot imagine the great things God  has planned for me for MGO and on this campus. If these two things occurred this past week, I can only imagine how many more opportunities I will be given. Thank you God for being so great!

   

A Desire to be Bold

    One of the biggest obstacles in my life right now is fear. I find it so easy for me to make friends and have conversations but sadly I barely ever know how to talk to someone about my faith and love for Jesus and even when I feel like I should, I'm terrified to do it. A word that has really been on my heart lately is "boldness."  When I think of boldface type, I think about how the bold words stick out from the other words in the sentence and that's exactly what the purpose of boldface type is. Boldness can be compared to this because boldness within the realms of faith is about not being afraid to share your love for Jesus in a world where most people are scared of this very thing, and that's exactly what God wants you to do. A good friend of mine's favorite quote is "Stand up in a sit down world." This quote is so relevent to me in this situation because I want to be courageous enough to be the one who isn't afraid to "stand up" when most of the world is "sitting down." I've met so many people in my classes that I've become pretty good friends with but that boldness to reach out to them just wasn't there. I also need the boldness to speak out in my family when I don't agree with things but once again fear gets in my way. The past few weeks or so, I've been praying for God to give me a boldness like I've never had before, a boldness that will allow me to overcome these hurdles. It's like I see people and I ask myself "Why can't I be bold like them?" It is a deep desire of my heart to fully live for Him but I feel held back by the walls of fear.
    I'm praying that God uses MGO as a way to give me that boldness to reach out to others. I know that I will be placed in the right group that is going to help me with this. I also know that God is going to pair me with exactly the right people who can guide me to where I want to be. I have no idea what to expect at MGO but I know it's going to be the experience of a lifetime. If you are reading this, I just ask for your prayers for this boldness, for me to finally tear down these walls of fear that have been  holding me back for so long.