Never Had a Better Mardi Gras Break

      It's been a whole month since MGO so I apologize for not writing this blog sooner. I will finally update on everything that went down on MGO and the amazing experience that aroused from it. Sit back, drink that coffee and enjoy the story.
     MGO, three letters that mean so much to any member of ULL's Chi Alpha. These letters stand for Mardi Gras Outreach. For those of you who don't know, Mardi Gras Outreach is where ULL's Chi Alpha leaves and goes to other college campuses throughout Texas. Instead of staying around Louisiana for the craziness of Mardi Gras, we go and volunteer our time with Chi Alphas in Texas.
      My MGO team was at first a Mystery Team but we soon found out we were headed to Texas A&M in College Station, Texas. Just giving a shoutout to my amazing team : Kelsey, Lance, Allison, Phuc, Cody, Robert, Mia, Ja'Larrya, Mario, Lauren, and Victoria. I really feel like I bonded with every one of y'all and we made a great team.
      As I said in my last post, a big thing that was on my heart that I kept praying for was Boldness. I knew that MGO would not let me down and that I would be given opportunities to be bold. One day on MGO we went to the campus of Texas A&M in order to do a type of 2x2 that they called Treasure Hunting. Mario, Lance and I were paired off and we set out in search of who God wanted us to talk to.
      I need to briefly explain Treasure Hunting. You take about 5 minutes and you pray for the Holy Spirit to send you images or visions of "clues" that you need to look for. Well one of my clues was "textbook." I hate to admit it, but I kind of doubted that my "clue" was really from God because college campuses are full of textbooks. With the three of us each having cour list of clues, Mario, Lance and I began to walk around the campus.
      At first it seemed like we were having  no luck. We were on our way to the Oceanology building because that's where we felt our clues were leading us, when we passed right next to a library. We made the decision to pass through the archway outside the library in order to get to the building. I saw a girl laying down on a cement block and she was reading a black textbook. My original vision was a black textbook but I did not write the color down. Something inside of me stirred and I wanted to go talk to her. We were about to walk away because I was too afraid to tell Lance that I felt that we should go talk to her. As we were almost to the other side of the archway, I heard a voice saying, "Tiffany, this whole time you have been asking me for boldness. I am giving you an opportunity right here, right now to be bold. Why would you let this slip away?" I knew it was God and I knew what I had to do. I looked at Lance and said "I really think we should go and talk to that girl." I led us over there and started talking to her.
      The girl was really kind, and after talking to her for a little bit Lance noticed that she had a tattoo. He asked her about it and she said it represented Strength because she was going through a lot. This led to us telling her why we were there and telling her that we would like to pray for her if she let us. The girl said she was not a Christian but she would gladly accept prayer. I prayed for her and even though I have no way of contacting her again, I'm believing that she was saved or that she is seeking the truth. Just knowing that for that one moment I was bold enough to do something I never thought I could do, made all the difference. She was honestly one the only person we had time to pray for in our short time on the campus so if I hadn't been bold enough to talk to her, I would have missed out on the beautiful opportunity God had put right in front of me.
      Our entire MGO experience for my particular team was definitely focused on us. Normally for MGO our Chi Alpha goes to other Chi Alpha's and helps them with stuff on their campus. We definitely did that but Texas A&M's Chi Alpha taught us so much and fed us spiritually. It felt like a four day retreat! I learned so much about the Holy Spirit, God, and myself.
      One of the activities they had us do was to show us how we can prophesy in the Holy Spirit. We broke up into two random groups of six and then we got in a circle and partnered up. My partner was Victoria. Mrs. Becky told the people in the middle (in my case it was Victoria) to close their eyes and ask God "If the person in front of you were an animal what animal would they be?" Even though I really did not have to do anything but wait, I closed my eyes and was kinda jokingly saying okay God what animal would I be. A rabbit, the most random animal to me, popped into my head. I never think of rabbits and I totally just thought I had thought of it because I was trying to think of something. When Victoria opened her eyes to say the animal she saw she immediately said "I think I saw a rabbit." I was so shocked by this all I could do was freak out. It definitely proved to me that I was hearing from the Holy Spirit, whether I realized it or not.
      Another very crucial part of MGO for me was discovering some truth about myself that I did not even realize was there. At the Sunday service, we were asked to stand in front of the church so that the members of the church could pray for us. The girl that prayed for me started saying "God wants you to know he is proud of you. He sees that desire you have and he loves you for it. He is very proud of the person you have become and will continue to become." It was in that moment that I realized that I beat myself up over little things all the time. I always compare myself to others and think that I'm not doing a good enough job or that I need to do more. The truth is, God does want me to do more but when something does not necessarily go my way, I should not beat myself up over it. God is proud of the woman I am becoming. He is proud of my desire to do his will. As long as I continueto live for him, I have nothing to worry about and he will use me for extraordinary things. A few days after this, we were doing an activity where we had to write our struggles to God. Then we had to pray for God's response. At first the response I got from God was not about my struggles. God's response was completely about how proud of me he was and how I should not keep beating myself up over the small things. It confirmed that I really did need to be proud of myself for how far I have come and just continue living for God.
      Words cannot express how absolutely amazing MGO was. My team was so fun, amazing, and we grew so close. This is one of those memories that will live on with me for a lifetime. I don't care what my other friends and family did for Mardi Gras or where they went because there is no possible way I could have had a more amazing time celebrating Mardi Gras than I had on MGO in College Station, Texas. I can only Thank God for his greatness and majesty!

Ask, Seek, Knock

        Before I begin this post, I would just like to let you know that it will contain a few scriptures and a quote that are relevant to the topic. This post is also an update from the last one. See my last post was talking about how recently God has put the desire in my heart to be bold. It's something I started praying for towards the beginning of this semester and I'm still praying about it now. This past week has been the starting point of the boldness that I have been asking for but before I get into details about that I need to explain what happened at Johnston Street Java.
        So one night last week, Claire, Morgan and I were studying at Johnston Street Java when this lady came to our table and started talking to Claire about just different things in life. To be honest, I really couldn't hear what the lady was saying but there's one particular thing I did get out of what she was telling Claire. I can't remember exactly what she said but it was something about our generation getting out there and doing something. When this lady said that, something clicked inside of me. Instead of just sitting back and waiting for things to happen, I need to do more, especially dealing with my faith and sharing the word of God with people. So I was determined to get out there and do something, but what exactly was God trying to tell me to do? This brings me to the next part of my story.
        Last week in Lifegroup we read the scripture Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." This scripture really hit me because fear is what has been keeping me from being bold. This scripture reminded me that God wants me to be strong and courageous and he will be there to guide me every step of the way. This scripture set the basis for everything that happened this past week.

        The best way to start this part of the story is with this amazing quote from the movie Evan Almighty:

        "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"
   
        I wanted to start out with this quote because it has been my favorite movie quote since the movie came out in 2007. I feel it is relevant to my desire for boldness because I have been praying for boldness. That is where I feel my weakness lies and I don't want walls of fear to hold me back from God. What this quote reminds me of is that if I pray for boldness God won't give me boldness, but he will give me opportunities to be bold. This past week, God has provided me with two major opportunities to be bold and he placed the desire and courage in my heart to take advantage of these opportunities.
        The first opportunity came to me at Resource Remix on Sunday. Someone had gotten up and talked about how one of the girl's Lifegroups had gone door to door and invited people to Lifegroup. My first thought about this was "Wow, they are so brave I could never do that." Immediately after I had this thought, God spoke to me. He was tugging at my heart and this is what he wanted me to do. Remembering the lady at Johnston Street Java and how her words made me realize that I needed to do more, I knew exactly what God wanted me to do but I was terrified. God wanted me to step up and do a dorm outreach. He wanted me to tell my Lifegroup leaders that I was going to print out papers with the day and time of Lifegroup and go door to door and invite people to come to Lifegroup. I was terrified because I did not know what the people in the dorms would think or what they would tell me. I kept praying about it to make sure it's really what God wanted and guess what, IT WAS! Tuesday came around pretty fast and determined to keep my commitment I printed out the papers with the Lifegroup info on it and I went buy some suckers from the store. I kept praying for the courage to do this and for a short moment, I almost backed out of it but I realized that I wasn't doing this for me, I was doing ti for God. At 6:55, I knocked on the first door and invited the girl to lifegroup. Everything after that got much easier and I went to every room and invited the people who answered the door. I was so proud that I had obeyed God and took advantage of this opportunity.
        My second major opportunity for boldness came at Open Mic Night. I kept telling people that I would have performed had I remembered to write a rap. When I got to Chi Alpha, I borrowed my friend Kali's iPhone and got to work. I took a few minutes and in no time at all, I had a short but nice rap. With encouragement from Lacy, Casey, Kali, Chantel and Daja, I was able to get the courage to sign up to perform. I said a silent prayer to myself for strength and courage to do this. When it was my turn, I walked up to the mic and rapped. The feeling of people clapping for me after just overwhelmed me. People who I never even met before in my life came up to me and told me I did a great job. I feel that God gave me this more personal opportunity in order to make me realize that the courage was inside of me all along. I haven't been this proud of myself in a long time.

    I have to quote this scripture because it ties everything together : Mathew 7:7-8 "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." The "Ask" part of this scripture I can relate to me asking God for the Boldness I knew I needed. The "Seek" part I relate to me seeking ways to be bold, and seeking advice and guidance from friends and my spiritual directors. The "Knock" part I relate to the opportunities that God placed for me in order for me to step out and be bold. "Knock" can also symbolize me knocking on the doors in the dorm in order to invite people to Lifegroup.
    Each of these things are a huge part of what God is doing in my life. Once again I cannot imagine the great things God  has planned for me for MGO and on this campus. If these two things occurred this past week, I can only imagine how many more opportunities I will be given. Thank you God for being so great!

   

A Desire to be Bold

    One of the biggest obstacles in my life right now is fear. I find it so easy for me to make friends and have conversations but sadly I barely ever know how to talk to someone about my faith and love for Jesus and even when I feel like I should, I'm terrified to do it. A word that has really been on my heart lately is "boldness."  When I think of boldface type, I think about how the bold words stick out from the other words in the sentence and that's exactly what the purpose of boldface type is. Boldness can be compared to this because boldness within the realms of faith is about not being afraid to share your love for Jesus in a world where most people are scared of this very thing, and that's exactly what God wants you to do. A good friend of mine's favorite quote is "Stand up in a sit down world." This quote is so relevent to me in this situation because I want to be courageous enough to be the one who isn't afraid to "stand up" when most of the world is "sitting down." I've met so many people in my classes that I've become pretty good friends with but that boldness to reach out to them just wasn't there. I also need the boldness to speak out in my family when I don't agree with things but once again fear gets in my way. The past few weeks or so, I've been praying for God to give me a boldness like I've never had before, a boldness that will allow me to overcome these hurdles. It's like I see people and I ask myself "Why can't I be bold like them?" It is a deep desire of my heart to fully live for Him but I feel held back by the walls of fear.
    I'm praying that God uses MGO as a way to give me that boldness to reach out to others. I know that I will be placed in the right group that is going to help me with this. I also know that God is going to pair me with exactly the right people who can guide me to where I want to be. I have no idea what to expect at MGO but I know it's going to be the experience of a lifetime. If you are reading this, I just ask for your prayers for this boldness, for me to finally tear down these walls of fear that have been  holding me back for so long.

One Moment Changes Everything.

       It's scary to think about  this, but one moment does have the possibility to change everything. Take my senior year of high school for example. When I was choosing the college I would attend, I pretty much chose ULL on a whim. I know that's pretty ridiculous because the college you attend is one of the most important decisions of your life. I was completely set on Nicholls and did not even think about going anywhere else. One night I just got aggravated with so many things going on that I told myself I needed to get away. It was then that I made the decision to apply for ULL and no other college. I don't even know why I chose ULL to be honest, but I did, and the night I filled out that online application for UL, I had no idea of the journey I was about to embark on.
       I decided to audition for the UL marching band because I really loved band in high school and I figured I could definitely use the scholarship. Because I was in band, I was one of the few people who had to check in early in the dorms. I moved in all my stuff, started band camp, and anxiously awaited the moment I would meet my new roommate. The roommate that Housing had told me was going to be rooming with me had contacted me saying that she already moved in. School started and there was still no roommate in sight. At first I was super excited about not having a roommate, but I didn't realize how much this would soon take it's toll on me.
      My classes were going great and I was doing really well in them but deep inside there was an emotion that had taken control of me: loneliness. I felt so alone because all of my good friends, the ones who help me through everything and that I can always count on were back home. Not only that, I did not feel like I belonged here because of the fact that I kinda chose UL out of the blue. I remember being in my dorm at night praying to God that he would allow me to return back home because I truly believed that I didn't belong here. I even started to  put the blame on God because I could not believe he would allow me to come here and leave everything and everyone that I knew. Back home I was involved in youth ministry and I had made so many friends that I wanted to keep in touch with and I felt that I had threw all of that away. I remembered calling my friend  at night sometimes because I just could not take the pain anymore. This lasted my entire first semester, but I told myself that I would return in the Spring and just make it through the year, then I could just transfer to Nicholls later. I had it all planned out, or at least I thought I did.
       The second semester started and one day I walked into my dorm lobby and saw a group of people sitting down. I had heard about these groups called Lifegroups but I had no idea what they were about and I was kind of reluctant to go. I had met one of the leaders previously and when I walked in to that lobby the leader that I knew looks at me and says "Hey Tiffany, Do you wanna come to Lifegroup?" My original plan was to go up to my dorm and get on facebook, but something told me to sit on that couch and check out this LifeGroup. It was that night that I became plugged in to a legit group, a place where I could go and people knew my name and cared about me, an organization whose sole purpose is to bring people to Jesus. That group is Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship. I could write so much just on Chi Alpha but I'll save that for a later time. I started to attend Chi Alpha's weekly service called TNL. Well one Wednesday night before I attended a TNL the poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost randomly pops into my head. I kinda laughed it off and said "That's completely random." Well the next night at TNL, Eric Treuil just so happen to include that poem in his sermon. Something in my brain clicked and I connected the poem with what I was going through. If I had gone to Nicholls with all my friends I would have just been a follower, and I would have been taken the path that was most taken. Because I had chosen UL, I WAS on the road less taken. It was that very instant, that very second, that I realized that Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship was THE reason I was at UL. All that time I had been asking God to give me a reason why I was here, to show me what I was supposed to be doing. Chi Alpha was that reason. Chi Alpha was my purpose for being here. Ever since I've made that realization, my life has taken a complete 180 degree turn. I'm closer to God than I've ever been in my entire life, and I met amazing people who I now consider my best friends, and I cannot picture my life without them. God wanted me to come to ULL to not only discover myself, but to continue growing in my faith, and to find true friends who help make my life better each and every day.
       What would have happened if I hadn't decided to go to UL? What would have happened if the Lifegroup leader who asked me to go to Lifegroup had just sat there? What if I had told her no and just gone up and gotten on facebook? What if I just happened to miss that TNL that night when I discovered that I belonged here? Thinking about these questions scare me because it would have only taken one second to have a completely different outcome. I do not even want to know where I would be without the grace of God. I thank God everyday that he allowed everything to fall into place for me and I thank him for the person I have become because of him. Without certain events and people he placed in my life at exactly the right time, I would be a totally differnt person. That's why I truly stand on the belief that One Moment Changes Everything!